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Coping with Emotions When You Lose Vision
(by Lylas G. Mogk, M.D.)
“The impact of blindness or low vision can be sometimes greater when you experience it as an adult. If you’ve been able to see for much of your life, it’s understandable to feel overwhelmed, sad, depressed, overly dependent on others, or even angry when your doctor tells you that you have an incurable eye disease Many people experience similar feelings, especially during the early stages of vision loss. You may also have many questions without easy answers, such as:
- How can I continue to enjoy my life?
- How can I avoid becoming dependent on others?
- How can I continue to perform basic daily tasks?
- Is it safe to live alone?
These concerns can cause even the most resilient person to feel sadness and grief and experience reduced self-confidence and self-esteem; and lose the sense of control over his or her life. When you’re first diagnosed with vision problems, it may be difficult to believe you’ll be able to enjoy life to the fullest again, or cope independently with everyday living. However, if you, your family, and your friends persevere and learn to seek the information, support, and resources you need, you’ll discover that your joy of living, quality of life, confidence, and self-esteem, can and will return.
It is important to recognize that depression with vision loss does not correlate to how much vision is lost. Instead, it correlates to how many daily activities are affected. This means that as soon as you are having trouble doing any of your daily tasks, it’s essential not to give them up but rather to find out about the strategies, adaptations, devices, and resources of vision rehabilitation that will empower you to doing your activities. Learning what you need to know to stay active is your best defense against depression. You can learn to live fully with vision loss but you cannot live fully with depression.
Staying active with vision loss means learning new skills and it also means taking a few social risks and cultivating your sense of humor. My father, who had advanced wet AMD, occasionally asked a mannequin in the store for directions, took the wrong bus, walked past a friend without recognizing him, or hugged a stranger, but that didn’t cost him his dignity or his friends. A woman in his support group who was a great cook told about serving a cherry pie to dinner guests which turned out to be made out of kidney beans because she had mixed up the cans. ‘We all had a good laugh,’ she said, and her friends didn’t love her any less for it. Remember that you are much more than just your eyes. Your family and friends don’t love you simply because of your eyesight, and your value to them, to your community, and to yourself does not fade with fading sight. You’re worth the effort it takes to learn about the skills and resources of vision rehabilitation that will allow you to continue to live fully in spite of vision loss.”
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